In a sea of modified imports, where rice is the new sleeper and the discerning import buff values tasteful modification and technical know-how, this 1988 CRX serves neither style nor function.

While some flashy types may prefer to be rolliní on dubs, this CRX was recently spotted rolliní on hubs. Note the effective use of a chunk of concrete as parking brake!

Rust is noted throughout, no doubt for the weight savings the corrosion provides. The HF model may be the lightest chassis, but the rusted DX is a close second nonetheless.

This rust, coupled with the flaking black paint over red factory color adds a flair all its own. Iím sure there is nary a rex owner around that wouldnít agree: this paint job rivals ones costing thousands more! And remember, when you need to break out of the Ďhood and ditch those cops, you head to the Pay Ní Spray, so you donít have time to remove trim and bumpers!

The weight savings continue by reducing the glass with a tried and true smashing method. Industry rumors point to AEM and possibly other leading overpriced brands to market their own GDKs, otherwise known as glass destruction kits, for those not into the whole brevity thing.

Moving on to the powerplant, this standard crx engine breathes hard, though still through the unmodified factory airbox. Itís demand for air is so high, it has started to pull the paint right off the blinging D-series valve cover!

Surely the owner of this fine ride is saving money by never cleaning under the hood. Possibly by 2016 enough might be saved for a vacuum to suck up all the glass bits in the cowl area, but apparently, thatís what the blower fan is for! On a road trip, nothing is more soothing than the hum of the tires and hundreds of tiny bits of safety glass bouncing around in the air vents!

Do taken notice at the classic monowiper conversion. If youíd like to try this at home, follow this easy step: Grab hold of the passenger wiper, and generally yank and twist until it rips off. Boom! One wiper is left in all itís glory! Note: not responsible for visibility problems if driverís side arm is removed. Wait...thereís not much of a windshieldÖoh heck, go wild and rip away!

Not to be forgotten is the experience inside the cabin. Driver and passenger ride in comfort with a five-way adjustable climate control. How does this work you ask? My Mercedes never came with that!! Just relax and Iíll explain, itís simple to use and oh so effective. Settings can be changed by removing or adding various baffles made of cardboard Ė or even say an old sweatshirt or towel! Ė from the driverís and passengerís windows, quarter windows, and hatch glass holes. Donít forget to use lots of tape!

Interior air is drawn through the various canyons carved into the front windscreen. Though the spiderís web of the smashed windshield may appear to be random, it actually is the work of an anonymous young artist-delinquent, who parades his work through back alleys, storefront windows, and theft recovery vehicles. Usually with a brick or sledge!

We sincerely hope the review of this fine auto has enlightened you to the plight of the well cared for CRX the world over. Next time you wax your hood, skip the buffer and go for the angle grinder! Replacing bulbs? Smashing the lenses makes for much easier access! Want to lower your car on a budget? Why not take the wheels off and drive right on the brake rotors! The shower of sparks will tell you that youíre the center of attention. Donít mind those red and blue lights behind you!! And before you read any further:


April Fools!